The nature of our complaints is often associated with the petty frustrations that we experience every day. For example, if we are at a restaurant and we get served cold pizza with less cheese and toppings than the other guests, the ego may take it as a personal attack.
Sometimes we can get trapped in a complaining pattern, where even the most minuscule issues are judged. For example, you could be reading this post outside in your backyard, and suddenly your neighbor begins to mow their lawn, and you could complain to yourself, “Every time I sit down for some peace and quiet, someone interrupts it. I just knew it would happen. It never fails.”
When feelings of unworthiness and failure are etched in the subconscious, the ego creates another false self that we commonly refer to as the victim. “People are against me, and I get no breaks” becomes our inner dialogue.
Moments like the one I have shared for the last few days, where the ego seeks to strengthen its worth, repeat themselves over and over again in life. When multiplied, these incidents form unconscious programming that can lead to all kinds of anxieties and even sicknesses.
The whole incident was nothing more than a pointless battle of egos. To validate my sense of identity, I needed to be right, and I needed my opponent to be wrong. What purpose did that achieve? Did I walk away with a new car? Did I leave with a good feeling? By the end, I had lost both time and energy.
…I had interpreted his comments as an attack on my identity. Struggling with the inescapable feeling that I may not be enough the way I am, the conversation had fueled my insecurities.
