How Guilt Led To A Divorce

Continued from yesterday…

For the next days, we are to going to look at the destructive nature of guilt and shame. As an introduction, I want to share a story about Caitlin that I shared in my book, Awakening To I Am Love.

While attending her best friend’s bachelorette party in Miami, Caitlin got drunk and wound up having a public sexual encounter with a male stripper. When Caitlin told her husband, Alex, about what happened, he was at first disappointed, then moved past that feeling and forgave her. Caitlin, on the other hand, could not let it go. What she had done was so unlike her, and now her mind was consumed with what had happened.

“I feel so dirty, so guilty, and so filled with self-loathing,” Caitlin told herself. “When I think about what I did, I’m disgusted with myself. I just want to throw up. The shame and guilt are ruining my life, my career, and my marriage. I’m filthy. I’m a cheater and cannot stand to look at myself in the mirror.”

After 3 years of constantly reliving her past indiscretion and interpreting her reasons for the actions, Caitlin began to drink alcohol excessively as a way to escape the nagging guilt she felt every day.

Eventually, Caitlin divorced Alex and started to engage in casual sex with married men at her workplace. Two years later she lost her job, and her health was deteriorating. Hitting rock bottom, Caitlin reached out for help and was eventually guided back to wholeness and health. Caitlin then remarried and found freedom, happiness, and wholeness as she awakened to her true self.

I share this story because guilt has a way of destroying us from the inside out. Tomorrow, we will look at some valuable lessons about guilt that we can learn from this story.

To be continued tomorrow…

Adapted from section 2 of Awakening To I Am Love by David Youngren