How Change Really Happens

The only experiences that really matter are those that move you in your heart because the heart is the center of your life. Your heart leads you in everything you do. The heart is the non-conscious level of your being that directs your thoughts and actions. You hold your beliefs about yourself in your heart, and these beliefs define your approach to life and how you automatically respond to every situation.

So if the heart is the center of everything, why is it that when we seek the biggest transformation, the last place we look is often in our hearts?

At one time or another, we all seek change. When we do, there seems to be a world of resources ready to help: self-help books, infomercials offering physical or financial makeovers or modern gurus promising the keys to ancient knowledge. The paths to bringing about a “new and improved self” seem as varied as they are endless.

How does change really happen? What is really required to make more money, enjoy better health and a long life? How can we improve our relationships with our family? How can we make our city, country, and even the world a better place?

They say that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results, so we naturally search for wisdom and breakthroughs that will help us bring about change. When the results are not as immediate as we would like, we are told that nothing worth having comes easy. Change requires a lot of hard work.

Hoping that the next magic solution will deliver on its promises, we search for the key to unlocking our highest dreams and aspirations. Every failure to succeed comes with a price. Our hope and commitment take a beating and we are not sure how much resolve we have got left. Maybe we convince ourselves we are simply not good or smart enough and decide to give up and settle for mediocrity. If we do achieve success, the glow does not last. It may come at such a high personal price that it leaves us wondering whether it was worth it.

Much of religious and motivational teachings are focused on changing our attitudes, actions, and behaviors. Gifted communicators and authors continually feed us new plans of action or behavioral modification programs that promise a new life. Often these beliefs don’t add up to true and lasting change.

It was my own frustration after years of serious effort with methods, secrets, and breakthrough keys—all demanding as much self-effort as I could muster—that led me to question what I believed.

Most of my frustration came out of my inability to bring about the change I was so desperately seeking in myself. No matter how hard I tried to transform and develop, the same issues kept surfacing again and again. What had I missed? How does change happen? It was then that I discovered that change begins in the heart…

Continued tomorrow…

Adapted from Unraveling Love’s Mystery, David Youngren (2012, chapter 6)