Am I Enough?
Everyone has a story. I share mine, not to persuade you of a creed, but simply to let you in and help you see where I’m coming from, what shaped me and led me to this point.
If my choice of words, experiences and beliefs differ from yours, please bear with me. My goal is not to convert you or to exercise some sacred authority, but to give you an example of the power of love that overcomes our struggle with the egoic mind, and returns us to our true self.
I have often shared about my own insecurities that became entrenched in my unconscious mind at an early age. As a young adult, fear and insecurities transformed my dreams into nightmares. Although I was not consciously aware of it, I sought to disprove the nagging doubts in my egoic mind. I had big dreams, but my heart would often find a way to disqualify me from achieving that dream.
Even the kinds of dreams I had for my life were not really mine. I looked for approval and acceptance from family, friend, and what I thought was God. So my pursuits, at least unconsciously, were often rooted in fear of rejection by those whose love I sought.
Later, when I began to have success in achieving my dreams, I would at times feel like a fraud, not because I had done anything wrong, but because I didn’t quite feel deserving. There were times when I found myself speaking to crowds of tens of thousands, but then while walking away, I was faced with all kinds of self-doubt, looking for assurance that I had done well.
When people would praise me, I would question whether they were genuine, or were simply pandering to me to look for some kind of personal favor. It’s seems weird now, but at the time, my mind naturally seemed to incline toward questioning whether I was enough.
Adapted from Beyond Limits: 7 Steps To Create the Life of Your Dreams by David Youngren
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